Find out if you are in an unhealthy relationship and learn to set your boundaries

by Roshanak Zaredoost

We are constantly in communication with others. Aristotle mentioned that ‘human beings are social animals’. We have this need to be in presence of other human beings. And it is really important who we hang out with or who we spend our time with. We make these choices.

Now, our choice depends on how we feel about ourselves:

First category:

If we feel insecure, unworthy, not important, not good enough in anything, not valuable, not deserving, not loved and fearful, we easily become victims of abusers who take advantage of our good heart, kindness, vulnerability, and helpfulness and live scared, unhappy, and an unfulfilled life.

Second category:

If we feel self-confident, important, self-loving, accepted, deserving, valuable and good enough, we attract same kind of people, continue feeling good about ourselves and live a balanced and happy life.

Should you recognize yourself in the first category, you could easily end up in an unhealthy relationship, lose yourself fully and feel trapped. It is time to do something about it now.

Should you recognize yourself in the second category, you are most likely in a healthy relationship.

How do you know if your relationship is unhealthy or toxic?

Here are some signs:

  • The person is very volatile and has unpredicted reactions (yelling and threats)– you need to walk on eggshells around them
  • The person controls where you are, who you are with, how much money you spend, what you buy
  • The person belittles or sabotages you, says things that make you feel bad about yourself, plays it out like a joke and blames you for not having a sense of humour and it makes you feel like you are not smart enough or capable enough to make your own decisions
  • The person isolates you from your family members and friends and bring different excuses ( You are with me and have responsibilities now or I only want the best for you because I love you)
  • The person makes you financially dependant and tell you that you are not smart enough to handle the finances
  • The person manipulates you, makes you feel guilty about doing what you want and you give in.

And so much more…

What to do if you discover you are in an unhealthy relationship?

The most important thing is to start tune into your gutfeeling(your intuition) and following it. Find out why you are in the first category, is it due to your childhood experiences and trauma’s that you become so fearful and insecure? Which limiting beliefs are stopping you to believe in yourself and feel important? What is stopping you to say no?

Once you have released all of the fear, healed the trauma’s and wounds from the past, deleted and replaces the limiting beliefs that you have created for yourself as a result of things you saw, experienced or learned from others, you will be able to believe in yourself, love yourself, respect yourself enough to say no (set your boundaries) and take the right action for you, whatever that might be.

The best way to do that is to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or tapping! The beauty about EfT is that it a self-help tool. You can learn it and apply it yourself. But if you work with an experienced EFT coach, you will advance faster and may see a fast improvement.

As an EFT Coach I can guide you and help you on your way to emotional freedom. All you need to do, is to schedule a free consultation with me and I will explain it all.

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